Summer Struggles

Summer is sometimes a real struggle for me. It’s one of those things that made my choice of major so difficult when I went back to school. I was torn between something I knew would support my family and something I loved above all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but I’d rather be outside.

Career versus passion

Truth be told, I’ve always hated computers. I never liked fixing them–even though I spent 15 years doing just that. I never saw myself as a programmer, but it suits my very analytical mind very well–from November through March.  Unfortunately, when I’m done with a project on the computer, I don’t any sense of accomplishment. I know I have accomplished something, and there is a purpose for it, but I want something I can touch and hold. When I go home, sometimes it would be nice to see visible signs that I’ve done something. As it is, I could wear the same clothes every day because they don’t ever get dirty. Also, who ever really stands in awe of a pretty report or a polished software product? Those things are just tools for a majority of you.

Take the good ole outdoors though. Sitting at my desk, I look outside and see so much potential, so much to do. From planting trees, to changing the physical shape of the land and everything in between. My dream has always been to have a piece of land where I could sit back, relax and enjoy the world the Lord created for us. That, is going to be work, but also so much more fun and rewarding than developing computer software–for me. I have a lot of friends that are programmers or are in the computer field and many are nearly obsessed with it. They have to have the newest, biggest and fastest. For me, the computer is a tool to do a job. Other tools I use are shovels, rakes, hammers, etc. These tools I use not for “jobs” but for rest and relaxation.

Stress relief

While I’ve always wanted “that” yard, I’m doubtful at this point that I’ll ever have it. The reason won’t be that I won’t ever finish–because I will–but I don’t know that I’ll ever be happy with it. The closest I’ve come is when I’m camping. I could spend hours sitting around a campfire looking at all the trees and examining the terrain. At home though, it’s as much stress relief as it is rest. Planting trees, cultivating the ground and mowing are all my forms of rest and relaxation. I could become completely lost in my work–and frequently do.

For me though, my “perfect” yard is one where I could sit back and do what I do camping–and not see the effects of man. When we’re out camping, we’re around other campers with nice rigs, but no homes. The homes aren’t what bother me, it’s seeing everything we hide behind the home. Trailers, barns, building supplies, junk, etc. When I finally sit in my “perfect” yard, I don’t want to see my 4 trailers. The building supplies stacked out back. The evidence of “people”. I’ll never achieve this “perfect” yard, but I have this vision of what the best balance it will be. Some place I can sit around running water, under trees, and away from all the modern conveniences and unwind.

In my vision will be benches, rustic looking fire pits, wooden bridges, a small creek with frogs and perhaps a small gazebo. What there won’t be is power, internet, etc. This summer I hope to get the groundwork laid but it’s going to be a life-long pursuit I’m afraid–but one that will keep me busy and out of trouble in my old age.


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